What a difference a day (or 20 years) makes.

December 19th.

A date that always catches my breath when I see it on the calendar.

Sometimes I cry. Sometimes my stomach seems to flip all day. Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I am thankful. Sometimes I am angry. Always I remember…

This was the day that my family was changed forever. The day I found out that bad things happen to good people. The day that my childhood innocence abruptly ended. The day I learned what complete shock feels like.

December 19, 1989: I sat with my brother, my mom and my dad by the Christmas tree in the corner of our living room and listened in disbelief as my parents explained that they were not going to be married anymore. I honestly can’t recall a single thing about that conversation, except for the fact that I could not believe that we were having it! We were one of those normal families. A mom, a dad, a daughter, a son, a pet, a house, a minivan…normal. I was pretty sure that there was some kind of mistake…this wasn’t my family falling apart…not possible. But dad moved out, and there was visitation and counseling…and at some point it became real. Then there was the journey of making this my new normal…and I did.

I became a teenager. I made great friends. I had my first boyfriend. I got my first car. I loved school. My dad got remarried. I graduated from high school. I became a sister again (and again and again). I worked. My mom got remarried. I went to community college. I made some mistakes. I found out who my lifelong friends were. I moved to California. I worked. I made different mistakes. I moved home. I got a couple jobs. I met “the guy.” We got married. I finished my degree. We started our own business. We had our first baby. We bought our first house. We had our second baby. We lived some life. We made some mistakes. We had our third baby. We lived some more life. We made some more mistakes.

And life goes on…. This year, my mom (who still lives in the same house) put the Christmas tree in “the corner” for the first time in 20 years.

December 19, 2009: I am a wife of a wonderful man and a mother of three and I’m sitting in my own home by my own Christmas tree watching my own innocent children happily play in our family room. Tonight I will meet up with my brother for dessert and drinks…celebratory drinks? Mourning drinks? Not sure…drinks to thank him for being by my side for the last 20 years. Drinks to thank him for always being there on our journey of life…always. Family is family no matter what, and in our family there is love and always has been. We love and forgive. We pick up the pieces and keep on keepin’ on. I won’t lie…I still fantasize about what “could have been” sometimes. But what a difference “a day”…or 7,300 of them…makes!

Before I forget…

We are still down one home computer right now…you will first notice this by my decreased facebook activity  I can’t believe how long we have been without our computer. It is kind of comforting to know that life does indeed go on without a hard drive and an internet connection, but also a little frustrating when I really need to get some work done and have to wait for the laptop to get hauled home from the lab. So, in the meantime I have been trying to remember the little moments of humor in my house for a time when I can actually use the work laptop and get them written down. Today I only have enough time to jot a few funny stories down before I get back to “work”…My crocheted hats are in high demand and selling like crazy! I must get back to my crochet corner with my yarn and hook! Not to mention that I am trying to keep some stock of bookmarks available too. Gotta love how my craftiness manages to pay for Christmas every year!

There are lots of fun moments happening around the Ginther house with the holiday decorations and celebrations. It is SO fun to have all three kids at an age where they appreciate the traditions and can really enjoy this time of year. They have all learned my love for crafts and we have been making lots of ornaments and fun little things. The big kids are still loving school, but seem to be a little harder to get moving on these COLD dark mornings. I am so proud of them and the wonderful reports I get from their teachers and other friends at school. I never knew how wonderful the words “You guys are doing such a great job with them” would feel!

Eliza continues to amuse us daily and I don’t want to forget her latest funny’s! During our roadtrip to Sacramento for Thanksgiving, Bryce invented some silly games for the kids. We started thinking of all the animals that started with a certain letter of the alphabet: B for bobcat, bulldog, burmese python…etc. The kids know ALOT of animals! This game evolved to thinking of “Things that are…stinky, fast, scary, and then we got to dangerous” Eliza LOVED talking about “gangerous things” and days later she continued to ask with much enthusiasm…”Let’s talk about GANGEROUS things” Oh, geez, so scary! She will be the founder of “5 year old bungee jumpers club” I’m sure. My other favorite Eliza issue right now is her concern with her brains. I told her one day that if she watches too many cartoons her brains will turn into mush. We had a silly conversation about what happens when kids brains get mushy. Later that day she was watching a cartoon with Lexi and Isaac and as soon as it was done she ran to the tv with her had over her eyes searching for the power button. She announced (in a very concerned, frantic voice) that she could “feel her brains getting smushy!” She has continued to worry about her brains, and now she “puts” her brains in my head when she watched tv so I can keep them safe! Oh, I love her and her very vivid imagination.

So many words, so little time…

I have a little list on my counter of things I have been meaning to write about on my blog, when I get a chance to blog again, which is harder these days since we are sharing Bryce’s work laptop until our computer gets fixed. The list on my counter just keeps growing as Eliza says hilarious things…My latest favorite was her imaginary friend of the day yesterday “Oregon City Grandma.” Apparently OC Grandma wanted to ride in Isaac’s booster seat when we ran errands and, unaware of her existence, Isaac sat down and squashed her! Eliza was brought to tears over the tragedy, and I was trying to contain my laughter in the drivers seat. The list grows with my frustrations over the way offices treat my husband sometimes…I mean really folks, doesn’t a guy get a day off for Thanksgiving!?!?! Give him an extra day for turn around, I’m pretty sure you aren’t working on Thursday OR Friday! Oh, I could go on and on…but won’t for his sake and mine. The list grows when even I am amazed at what I can accomplish in one day…not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have had some amazingly productive days lately. I’m sure it has NOTHING to do with the fact that our computer is dead and I haven’t set foot in the den in over a week…that has nothing to do with it! The list grows as I gear up for another fun crafty holiday season. This year I am selling my magnetic bookmarks at craft shows and bazaars around town…and of course at the first bazaar I did I sat next to a crochet diva who made the cutest hats, and now I’m making hats like a crazy woman too! The list grows as I rant and rave about the ups and downs of being a stay at home motherhood/in home daycare provider..I will NOT miss poopy diapers! The list just grows and grows…there is so much to say, nothing exceptionally noteworthy or profound or hilarious…just lots of stuff going on around here. This is just a little taste. At the bottom of the list…it says NEED MORE SLEEP…so off I go to my cozy bed for the night.

For you visual people…Photos!

We love Fall! I wish we had more time to get out and enjoy this beautiful Oregon October…but at least when we do get out we remember to invite a friend with a great camera and some pretty fantastic photography skills. Thanks Kirstyn! Here’s a few of my favorites from our trip to look at leaves the other day after church (no, we don’t go to the adorable little church in the pictures). No captions or explanations needed here…just a happy family!

and here’s some of my amature photography documenting out annual trip to the Sauvie Island Pumpkin Patch. I can provide some captions on these ones

*waiting for Auntie Jen and Uncle Frank to meet us

* my silly little Lizard in line for the hayride

*real horse…fake horse…doesn’t matter, she loves them all!

*lover girl, lovin’ on her mama…man, I love this age, 3 is gooooood!

*trying to figure out how he could ‘accidentally’ fall off the trailer into all that mud!

*deciding that the super bumpy hayride was actually really fun!

*with 1 & 1/2 of our kids enjoying a beautiful Saturday afternoon!!!

*our little baby all grown up, how did that happen!?!?

*couldn’t get them to look for pumpkins once they realized that there were frogs in the weeds!

*Eliza, seriously guarding her prized pumpkin

*sooooo happy that his muscles are strong enough to carry a “big” pumpkin this year

*hayridin’ back to to the barn to weigh their pumpkins and get an elephant ear

*gotta get the cheesy “faces in the cutout” picture before we head home

* the finished products up for judging at the Kraft/Harland carving contest…FUN!

Anonymous

This is the anonymous note I received with a Target gift card in the mail this evening…

Dear Amy, God put you on my heart this week. He wanted you to know how much He loves you and cares about the desires of your heart. He is proud of your hard work as a wife, mother and caregiver to children. You’re leaving a legacy of love. God Bless You.

There are no words, only tears…because I am loved and blessed beyond explanation. I’m so grateful for this amazing network of support that can lift me up when I down and encourage me when I feel lost. My heart aches for those out there who go through this life without knowing Him!

And in case you, anonymous one, are reading this…your thoughtfulness and generosity is appreciated beyond what “Thank You” could express.

Poopy Day

WARNING: this post contains graphic potty talk, read at your own risk!

Without a doubt, the worst part of doing childcare is poop! Other people’s kid’s poop! It’s one thing to have your kid disappear only to find them in their “pooping corner” or to walk into a room that reeks of a stinky bottom or the do the dreaded diaper peek only to stick your finger in an up-the-back explosion…when it’s YOUR kid. It’s a whole ‘nother ball-game when the stank is not yours. After almost 8 years of diapers, I could take care of business without a gag or even uttering an “ewwwww.” But, man, you remove genetics from the equation and the gag reflex is back in full force. It isn’t helping that Eliza is finally out of pull-ups and not having accidents much  anymore. I’m done with diapers and pee and poop and having to stick my face in stinky butts!!!! …but I’m not actually. I really didn’t think I minded diapers so much, but I’m discovering that I do indeed “mind” diapers…when they are full of poop…other people’s kid’s poop…and today I have had lots of diapers full of poop for some reason…so I needed to vent.  Thank you.

Simple Life=Simple Pleasures

Something I have noticed more and more in the last year is that I am finding so much joy in such little things. It’s silly because these things should have brought me joy all along, but before I overlooked them, or took them for granted, or didn’t even do them! It has been a full year since the dam broke and the flood came, so to speak. It has been hard and frustrating and exhausting and scary. I look forward to the day when this is in our past and we can look back on “that hard time in our life.”  Oddly enough I can already see that we will look back on this time with lots of fond memories (I have been comparing it to pregnancy and childbirth. Somehow we forget the misery and the pain and end up oohhing and ahhhing over our wonderful memories. Unlike childbirth though, I plan to only do this once!). What I have realized recently is that this hard time has brought so much goodness. We had some friends over the other night and they were expressing their concern for us, which was so nice, but I had to stop them and explain how I feel like God is using this experience to draw us closer together and closer to Him. In the last year my Faith and my Family have become everything to me…I thought that was the case before, but I know better now. Gone is the need to consume and the busy schedules and the accumulation of stuff. That has all been replaced with thought out, conscious, intentional decisions…simple decisions, simple life, simple pleasures! Here are some of the simple pleasures I find myself enjoying lately…laid back afternoons in the family room together,  Safeway’s Parkers Root Beer for 83 cents, an adult visitor on a chaotic afternoon, making something out of nothing with crafty stuff I find around my house, watching Lexi at horseback riding lessons, chai tea in a hand-me-down mug from a dear friend, game night at the kitchen table, sorting Lego’s with Isaac (yep, he’s SO my boy), peace and quiet in my clean house, afternoon naps on the weekend, listening to my kids giggle and play with their toys in the toy room (such a novel concept), long hot showers, silly conversations with Eliza, and that’s just the beginning!

Dear Diary,

I had phases of my childhood where I was a diary keeper. It was never consistent. It was never profound. It IS very amusing to go back and read the things that occupied my 8, 10, and 13 year old mind! I also started a journal when Lexi started talking to document the funny things she said, but again, not consistent and I totally regret that! So here is another attempt. I will first admit that I am copying my brilliant, witty husband. He has started a blog and just did a “Dear Diary” page for those quick little things that are blog worthy but not substantial enough to warrant a whole post. I too just started another page on my blog, hoping this will give me a place to jot down funny kids quotes, silly thoughts, frustrations, and randomness from my days. Check it out from time to time… And you can be entertained by my husband if you click here.

Frustrations and Things.

So, I’m a stay-at-home-mom. I know for a lot of my “coworkers” this term really means run-around-all-day-like-a-taxi-service/personal-shopper-mom. But for this season in my life, stay-at-home-mom means just that. I am a mom who stays at home. I have chosen this life and I would choose it again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that…and so on forever. This choice comes at a cost, but with many privileges as well. We are a family of 5 living on 1 income. We are not afforded groceries from the all organic fancy pants market. We don’t wear new clothes purchased on regular shopping trips through the mall. We don’t go on luxurious relaxing vacations. We don’t have coffee made for us. We don’t go see the latest movies in the theaters. We don’t go out to eat. We don’t do a lot of things that our society has told us are important and will make us happy. We DO have a lot of love flowing around inside the four walls of our home, and I’m here to experience every moment of it. We have made a conscious decision to go without a lot of “things” so that we can raise our children ourselves. That is our priority right now, and it is hard! I find myself doing a lot of self talk these days. Reminding myself what I am doing and why I am doing it. I find myself searching for the precious moments that remind me this IS worth it. I cling tightly to the “I love you so much mommy” and the unsolicited snuggles. I find happiness as I watch my kids enjoy helping with chores. I take the time to share the kitchen when they ask to help prepare meals. My heart warms as my kids sit across the table from me and share silly little stories about their day. These are the reasons I do what I do.

But in between these “Hallmark moments” is the juggling, the endless frustrations, sighs, tears, teeth gritting, time outs, and the so on. All of the hard things that make stay-at-home-moms want to hurt someone when we are accused of not having a real job. I have always said that everyone should be a waiter or waitress in their lifetime…it will change the way you act in a restaurant. I also thing every parent should spend about 10 days doing nothing but juggling their children, meals and housework…it will change the way you look at parents who stay at home raising their kids. Mornings are chaotic as I hurry two kids to get dressed, eat breakfast, tie their shoes, brush their teeth, put on coats, get backpacks…etc. Neither of them can do these things without being reminded [several times] and then encouraged to do it faster than a snail! Once the “big kids” are off to school, then the “littles” arrive. The next few hours consist of more breakfast, bottles, diaper changes, and orchestrating nap schedules to allow a shower for me (yes, I am aware that I could wake up 45 minutes earlier each morning to take care of myself, but I tried that and it just doesn’t work for me!). Isaac is home from Kindergarten at 11:45 and the lunches start. Then it’s juggling homework and chores for the big kids with playtime for the littles. Once my daycare day is over I cram in any errands that need to be run, make dinner, and the bedtime routine starts. Most of the time I am doing all of this on my own because my husband is the hardest working man I know and he is busting his buns trying to run his business all on his own for the time being. We put in LONG hours around here, and right now we do it with only a faint glow of candle light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. We know that this won’t go on forever, but there is no end date on the calendar marked with a big gold star. All I hope and pray for is the strength, patience, energy, wisdom, and love to do good work. Oh, and I also pray for showering in peace…it never ceases to amaze me that my children think I can sign a piece of paper or referee a fight or listen to a story or look at something on tv or get them a snack WHILE showering! Ah, they are wonderful little beasts!

Deadlines and Things?

This is for the 4 of you who continue to check back and see if I have written anything new lately…only to find that the answer is no, and has been since mid June! I don’t know what happened. I guess, like my kids, I was on summer vacation. From my job…of blogging!?!? It’s funny, this blogging. There are no rules. I don’t get paid to write these things. I’m not punching a time clock. There are no deadlines. Yet sometimes I get this nagging feeling while I am living my Moments and Things…this feeling that I should be blogging about this, that or the other. What is that? Instead of thinking of it as some responsibility or a chore, I take it as a sign that I enjoy writing and I enjoy my family and this is a treat for me. I get a break from my mommying moments to sit at the computer and share the stories about my mommying moments! Really, that is why I decided to blog. I wanted to preserve the little moments of this season of life. I want some place to look back and find all the sweet and precious (and obnoxious) pieces of my kid’s early years. It is nice to know that sometimes I practice what I preach! I say I am the kind of mommy who wants to be with my family, raise my kids, have that quality time with them while they are little, build a strong foundation for a lifelong relationship with my children…and so on. Like many other stay at home mommy’s I often find myself frusterated with the kids or overwhelmed by all that “needs” to be done or complaining about the ridiculous behavior of one of my kids. This summer I discovered that I was just enjoying my three children being home with me. Rather than entertaining them with the television while I blogged about what we should be doing with our precious time together, we SPENT time together! The Dave Ramsey financial fast continued to rule over our family activities. There wasn’t anything super exciting or monumental that happened around here…but we enjoyed each other. Simple as that. I’ll try to sit down at our desktop (where all the pictures are stored) and load a few of my very favorite summer moments.

That was then, and this is now…

The reality is that it is now September 18th. The sun is different in the sky. The air is getting crisp. The leaves are starting to change colors. The kids are back into a school routine. Fall is here!!! We LOVE Fall in this family. I love that the sun is still making regular appearances, but the temperatures are cooler. I love the colors. I love the smells. I love the clothes. I love the food. I love being cozy. I love the holidays. I the traditions. I pretty much love it all!

With this change of seasons, life in our home continues to shift and change. Back at the beginning of the year, when the economy really crapped out and we started feeling the cruch on the homefront, there was lots of scrambling, praying, brainstorming, adjusting, discussing, compromising and even crying. Through all of this Bryce and I agreed to fight to stay in our house and for me to stay home with the kids…everything else was fair game. We made lots and lots of little changes that helped us get through most of the year…but the big change came in mid August when I started doing childcare for two small boys. We are finally in a place where I feel like we will make some forward progress. It has been quite an adjustment for me (and the kids too) but I feel like we are settling into a routine now. I am SO proud of the way my kids are welcoming the little boys, 5 months and 15 months, into their lives. They have been a huge help, and I don’t know if I could do it without them sometimes. I am more organized than I have been in a long time, and our day to day routine has much more structure than ever before! With all the naps happening each day I don’t get out of the house much anymore. My errands are fewer and concentrated to one or two evenings a week. Lexi and Isaac are both loving school. It is so nice to see their excitement for learning and watch them make new friends. Isaac is playing soccer at the park down the street, which is really convenient! Bryce is coaching his team this year and having a great time. Other than that…it’s the simple life for us here in Happy Valley! The little things make me smile these days. I hope to fit in some time with the keyboard each week to share my Moments and Things.