Frustrations and Things.

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So, I’m a stay-at-home-mom. I know for a lot of my “coworkers” this term really means run-around-all-day-like-a-taxi-service/personal-shopper-mom. But for this season in my life, stay-at-home-mom means just that. I am a mom who stays at home. I have chosen this life and I would choose it again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that…and so on forever. This choice comes at a cost, but with many privileges as well. We are a family of 5 living on 1 income. We are not afforded groceries from the all organic fancy pants market. We don’t wear new clothes purchased on regular shopping trips through the mall. We don’t go on luxurious relaxing vacations. We don’t have coffee made for us. We don’t go see the latest movies in the theaters. We don’t go out to eat. We don’t do a lot of things that our society has told us are important and will make us happy. We DO have a lot of love flowing around inside the four walls of our home, and I’m here to experience every moment of it. We have made a conscious decision to go without a lot of “things” so that we can raise our children ourselves. That is our priority right now, and it is hard! I find myself doing a lot of self talk these days. Reminding myself what I am doing and why I am doing it. I find myself searching for the precious moments that remind me this IS worth it. I cling tightly to the “I love you so much mommy” and the unsolicited snuggles. I find happiness as I watch my kids enjoy helping with chores. I take the time to share the kitchen when they ask to help prepare meals. My heart warms as my kids sit across the table from me and share silly little stories about their day. These are the reasons I do what I do.

But in between these “Hallmark moments” is the juggling, the endless frustrations, sighs, tears, teeth gritting, time outs, and the so on. All of the hard things that make stay-at-home-moms want to hurt someone when we are accused of not having a real job. I have always said that everyone should be a waiter or waitress in their lifetime…it will change the way you act in a restaurant. I also thing every parent should spend about 10 days doing nothing but juggling their children, meals and housework…it will change the way you look at parents who stay at home raising their kids. Mornings are chaotic as I hurry two kids to get dressed, eat breakfast, tie their shoes, brush their teeth, put on coats, get backpacks…etc. Neither of them can do these things without being reminded [several times] and then encouraged to do it faster than a snail! Once the “big kids” are off to school, then the “littles” arrive. The next few hours consist of more breakfast, bottles, diaper changes, and orchestrating nap schedules to allow a shower for me (yes, I am aware that I could wake up 45 minutes earlier each morning to take care of myself, but I tried that and it just doesn’t work for me!). Isaac is home from Kindergarten at 11:45 and the lunches start. Then it’s juggling homework and chores for the big kids with playtime for the littles. Once my daycare day is over I cram in any errands that need to be run, make dinner, and the bedtime routine starts. Most of the time I am doing all of this on my own because my husband is the hardest working man I know and he is busting his buns trying to run his business all on his own for the time being. We put in LONG hours around here, and right now we do it with only a faint glow of candle light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. We know that this won’t go on forever, but there is no end date on the calendar marked with a big gold star. All I hope and pray for is the strength, patience, energy, wisdom, and love to do good work. Oh, and I also pray for showering in peace…it never ceases to amaze me that my children think I can sign a piece of paper or referee a fight or listen to a story or look at something on tv or get them a snack WHILE showering! Ah, they are wonderful little beasts!

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